Spend less time on your children and more time on yourself!

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Stressed and anxious, never enough time for your children, constant self blame… How about replacing some quantity parenting time with some quality me time? This is not only how but why you should treat yourself.

The White Company hosted a pampering SPA event at the grand Langham Hotel yesterday for bloggers they tend to collaborate with during the year. We were greeted with mouthwatering delicious bites of gourmet finger food as well as a glass of Champagne. Then shown into each our treatment room at the Chuan Spa.

First I have to admit that I have never understood the pleasure of spa and spa treatments. Using your time to go to a spa to add moisturiser and oils you might as well in far quicker time apply at home made no sense to me. But I was trying to keep a positive attitude. The Asian inspired and contemporary Chuan Spa had great facilities; steam sauna and a gorgeous swimming pool.

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But again, not adding much longterm benefits to what the bathtub at home can’t do. So I politely stayed with my glass of champagne whilst the others explored the facilities. I guess I’m not particularly good at treating myself. And having children hasn’t improved the situation. Even going to the hairdresser and shopping for myself has been cut down to a scarily low level. Lets just say I’m proper low maintenance.

And at the same time, I’m constantly thinking I’m not spending enough time with my children. Everything, from a not up to standard grade to illness in my children would be something that I immediately would put down to not having spent enough time with them.

So do we as parents, especially mothers, spend enough time with our children? There’s a widespread assumption that the time parents, particularly mothers, spend with children is key to ensuring a bright future. But interestingly I recently read a study that shares that this is not the case at all. In fact, it appears the amount of time parents spend with their children between the ages of 3 and 11 has virtually no relationship to how children turn out, and a minimal effect on adolescents, according to the first large-scale longitudinal study of parent time, published April 2015 in the Journal of Marriage and Family in the USA. The finding includes children’s academic achievement, behaviour and emotional well-being.

Also, the study found one key instance when parent time can be particularly harmful to children. That’s when parents, mothers in particular, are stressed, sleep-deprived, guilty and anxious.

This brings me back to the treatment room, where I had pedicure last night. The giggly and chatty therapist soon felt more like a friend and we spent the hour talking about our gardens, her exotic wedding last November and our lives in London. She also gave lots of really good tips and advice on how to care about your skin in your daily life.

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I left the event with a small gift bag (not exactly – the girls at The White Company had once again overdone themselves!) with some delightful products to take home; A soft classic cotton robe and slippers, the Seychelles bath & body gift set as well as Seychelles moisturising hand and nail cream – along with lots of small testers from Chuan Spa. I decided to make it an early night as the therapist had told me that you can use as many expensive creams you like but nothing beats sleep and enough water to drink.

Then, after a good nights sleep I woke up this morning and was greeted by these pretty pink toe nails.

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I jumped out of bed and my feet were just unbelievable soft and much more comfortable to walk on. I went into our bathroom and spotted all the lovely products I was gifted with last night and I immediately invited my two daughters to our very own home spa. Because I want to teach my girls to treat themselves, not only how to wash and be hygienic, but how and why it’s important to spend a little quality time on themselves.

It took me 37 years to figure out that being comfortable in own skin goes far beyond the wellbeing of being moisturised. Treating yourself is a time out, it relieves stress and reenergises. So I can be, not only a better mum to my daughters – but a happier Bianca.

Source for the research mentioned above from independent.co.uk

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